When They Decide to Assassinate You (Part 1)

2016 was quite an interesting year. We can all look back at it and some can heave a sigh of relief; others perhaps not so fast. For most people, it was riddled with the language of the season – recession. Lol, everything was recessed and placed in recession. Thankfully and hopefully, 2017 is a good year.

One issue that came up very strongly for me was the issue of character assassination (what were you thinking before? Lol) and reputation damage. We saw quite a bit in the local media with books being written and blogs celebrating all sorts and I was quite distraught at the way people applauded those without looking at the deeper underlying issues. I struggled with writing about this for a long time last year, not only because it hit home, but rather how common it was and we never talk about it.  

It became expedient to write about this, when someone came wailing to my home on Monday morning, beating herself blue & black on what she heard so-and-so said about her.  I laughed in between shock and I shared my experiences with her. I further told her how a dear sister and friend shared her very bitter and heartbreaking experience with me on this same matter last year and how it almost made her a recluse. This is someone well known for her strong views and belief system and for someone to damage her reputation and character so badly, was a bullet to the soul.

It’s quite disheartening when someone or some people decide by whatever measure or feeling of being slighted, that the best way to respond or deal with a conflict is to damage your reputation. It is even much more depressing when you find out that the person or persons involved know they have nothing to lose because they have no reputation to protect and their character is non-existent in the first place. 

So, damaging yours seems to them like they have gained an upper hand in the said conflict or misunderstanding, whatever it may be. You don’t have to be successful, popular, be a leader, have a lot of following or be charismatic, or any of these things for your character/reputation to be damaged. It can happen to anyone.

Character assassination/Reputation damage/Slander is far more common than most people realize and knowing about it is one way to help stop it. Although you may never personally experience it, it is always valuable to learn as much as you can about issues like this because they can quickly happen to you. There are a few basics that you should understand to learn just what character assassination is and why it is so dangerous. From this point, we will refer to them as assassins.

You need to understand the terms so you can easily comprehend what we are talking about here. What exactly does it mean?

Character Assassination is the act of attempting to influence the portrayal or reputation of a person, causing others to develop an extremely negative perception of him/her. By its nature, it involves deliberate exaggeration or manipulation of facts to present an untrue picture of the targeted person.

Basically, it is spreading rumours and talking bad about somebody, to make people hate them.

• Ø  To assassinate someone means to kill, to take life in an underhanded way.
• Ø  To assassinate someone’s character means to kill or damage their character by any means possible. This can be something as simple as calling them names to something as complicated as fabricating stories about them to keep them from advancing or living a good life. It is bloodless murder.

Character assassination is far more dangerous than you might imagine. An assassin can be anyone who has a grouse against you, someone who has a perceived or professed hurt, a business competitor, your ex –whatever, a friend-turned-foe, a devious being, a jealous/envious somebori, or just a confused soul trying to make your own life more difficult; are likely to use this technique to present you as a terrible person, making it easy for them to take advantage of you and get what they want which really is – to make themselves look like a victim and a saint, damage your reputation, wreck your relationships, cost you opportunities both personal and professional, deal a permanent blow to your self-confidence, and fundamentally alter how you and those around you perceive you and your place in the world.

Character assassination is nothing more than dirty fighting, make no mistake about it. In most cases, it is cowardly as they only badmouth you behind your back and can never confront you since even they know their lies. Most assassins are devious and are most likely sociopaths. They may or may not hate you perse, but they wreck your reputation to fulfil their own selfish goals. Some you have never met but they know everything they can use to damage your reputation, even paying for information. Some may be your friends – the ones you trust with all your innermost koko gists and life stories. They distribute the stories, concoct more and embellish it to tarnish you and often, will come by your side in public to give the impression they are still your support.

We will continue in the second part next week, with more clarity on what this is all about. Till then, remember this: Life is to be lived to the fullest as God intends it. 

Mother muse,