tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38213268736519672642024-02-21T07:56:30.123+01:00Ini's MUSEMy musings, My thoughts, my opinionsIni Abimbolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00529501507685680150noreply@blogger.comBlogger60125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821326873651967264.post-12234864274082308902019-04-01T11:24:00.001+01:002019-04-01T11:25:33.206+01:00CSR Rankings & Ratings<div class="feed-shared-update-v2__description feed-shared-inline-show-more-text feed-shared-inline-show-more-text--expanded ember-view" id="ember11203" style="-webkit-line-clamp: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.9); font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", "Fira Sans", Ubuntu, Oxygen, "Oxygen Sans", Cantarell, "Droid Sans", "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol", "Lucida Grande", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 2rem !important; margin: 0px 16px; max-height: none; max-width: 928px; outline: 0px; overflow: hidden; padding: 0px; position: relative; vertical-align: baseline;">
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<div class="feed-shared-text__text-view feed-shared-text-view white-space-pre-wrap break-words ember-view" id="ember11205" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 14px; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; word-break: break-word;">
<span aria-hidden="false" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="ember-view" id="ember11208" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Today's Note:
There are Four (4) categories of CSR Ratings & Rankings for businesses. These Four categories are:
1. Community
2. Employees
3. Environment
4. Governance
Each of these categories has subcategories. I will break them down later.
</span><a class="hashtag-link ember-view" data-control-name="update_hashtag" href="https://www.linkedin.com/feed/hashtag/?keywords=%23business" id="ember11211" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #665ed0; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_self"><span class="hashtag-a11y ember-view" dir="ltr" id="ember11212" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="visually-hidden" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; clip: rect(0px, 0px, 0px, 0px); display: block; height: 1px; line-height: inherit !important; margin: -1px; outline: 0px; overflow: hidden; padding: 0px; position: absolute; user-select: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: nowrap; width: 1px;">hashtag</span><span aria-hidden="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">#</span><span class="hashtag-a11y__name" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">business</span></span></a><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span><a class="hashtag-link ember-view" data-control-name="update_hashtag" href="https://www.linkedin.com/feed/hashtag/?keywords=%23sustainablegrowth" id="ember11215" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #665ed0; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_self"><span class="hashtag-a11y ember-view" dir="ltr" id="ember11216" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="visually-hidden" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; clip: rect(0px, 0px, 0px, 0px); display: block; height: 1px; line-height: inherit !important; margin: -1px; outline: 0px; overflow: hidden; padding: 0px; position: absolute; user-select: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: nowrap; width: 1px;">hashtag</span><span aria-hidden="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">#</span><span class="hashtag-a11y__name" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">sustainablegrowth</span></span></a><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span><a class="hashtag-link ember-view" data-control-name="update_hashtag" href="https://www.linkedin.com/feed/hashtag/?keywords=%23corporategovernance" id="ember11219" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #665ed0; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_self"><span class="hashtag-a11y ember-view" dir="ltr" id="ember11220" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="visually-hidden" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; clip: rect(0px, 0px, 0px, 0px); display: block; height: 1px; line-height: inherit !important; margin: -1px; outline: 0px; overflow: hidden; padding: 0px; position: absolute; user-select: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: nowrap; width: 1px;">hashtag</span><span aria-hidden="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">#</span><span class="hashtag-a11y__name" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">corporategovernance</span></span></a><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span><a class="hashtag-link ember-view" data-control-name="update_hashtag" href="https://www.linkedin.com/feed/hashtag/?keywords=%23metrics" id="ember11223" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #665ed0; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_self"><span class="hashtag-a11y ember-view" dir="ltr" id="ember11224" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="visually-hidden" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; clip: rect(0px, 0px, 0px, 0px); display: block; height: 1px; line-height: inherit !important; margin: -1px; outline: 0px; overflow: hidden; padding: 0px; position: absolute; user-select: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: nowrap; width: 1px;">hashtag</span><span aria-hidden="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">#</span><span class="hashtag-a11y__name" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">metrics</span></span></a><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span><a class="hashtag-link ember-view" data-control-name="update_hashtag" href="https://www.linkedin.com/feed/hashtag/?keywords=%23socialresponsibility" id="ember11227" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #665ed0; font-weight: 600; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_self"><span class="hashtag-a11y ember-view" dir="ltr" id="ember11228" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="visually-hidden" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; clip: rect(0px, 0px, 0px, 0px); display: block; height: 1px; line-height: inherit !important; margin: -1px; outline: 0px; overflow: hidden; padding: 0px; position: absolute; user-select: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: nowrap; width: 1px;">hashtag</span><span aria-hidden="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">#</span><span class="hashtag-a11y__name" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; line-height: inherit !important; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">socialresponsibility</span></span></a></span></span></div>
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Ini Abimbolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00529501507685680150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821326873651967264.post-69141067000093869912017-05-02T12:10:00.000+01:002017-05-02T12:10:50.795+01:00Seven Reasons To Hire A Consultant<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>An article by Jake Fox of Whitecap Consulting.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">From filling a short term staffing gap to strategy re-focus to the implementation of a major programme of organisational structural change, consultants can provide valuable expertise and insights to help companies achieve their goals and execute a strategy.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Ini Abimbola</b></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But when is the right time to hire a consultant, how do you choose a good consultant, and what on-going steps should you take to ensure you get the best out of a client consultant relationship? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>External validation</b>: Consultants will have a broad overview, understanding, and external perspective. A second opinion can provide reassurance prior to making a key business decision.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>More time and cost effective:</b> A consultant can be tasked to focus on a specific project and see it through on deadline, without distractions and day-to-day pressures. This often makes bringing in a consultant much more time and cost effective than running a project in-house.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Specific knowledge, skills and experience:</b> </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Consultants give business leaders the opportunity to bring in niche skills on a “pay as you go” basis, without the commitment of employing someone.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Ability to challenge:</b> Their objective position means consultants can bring a fresh perspective. A good consultant should not be afraid to challenge, and their unique position means they can do so without the fear of reprisals that employees might have.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Impartial advice:</b> Hiring consultants can offer business leaders a way to reach or justify a desired conclusion and avoid internal conflict. This can be particularly valuable in difficult situations such as job cuts and major operational or strategic changes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Knowledge of best practice:</b> Consultants are working with multiple clients in the same sector and often serving various clients facing similar problems across different sectors.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Access to information and resources: Consultants that specialise in niche areas or particular business functions are able to bring in data and systems that may not be financially viable for their client companies.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Overall, consultants bring a wealth of strengths to your business and can deliver a wide range of services. So, if you’re seeking a solution to a particular business problem, undergoing organisational change or can see new market opportunities but lack the resources to follow them up, a consultant may be the answer you need.</span></div>
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Ini Abimbolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00529501507685680150noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821326873651967264.post-54090325842521686362017-03-21T23:22:00.000+01:002017-03-21T23:22:35.034+01:00Don't Be a Baboon, Let Go of the Salt!<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Hello Muses,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Lately, I’ve been doing quite a lot of personal counseling sessions with a few mentees and friends going through one form of personal
problem or the other, ranging from job losses, financial issues to problems
with their spouses and/or children. Most are not at a good place emotionally,
spiritually and physically too as some of the issues are beginning to affect
their health. As usual I get so emotionally invested in some of these friends
and I spend long hours talking, discussing, listening to both spoken and
unspoken words just to understand how and where to give help or give counsel.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">As I sat thinking through some of the issues this evening, I
began flipping through several online platforms I normally visit to read up on
current issues and trends and I stumbled on a video of an interview that Dave
Chappelle had given with Gayle King a few days ago. In that part of the
interview, he tried to explain why he had to step away from the spotlight and
he used an analogy of a nature show he watched. It was about “how a bushman
finds water when it is scarce.” Chappelle relays the episode: “They do what
they call a salt dance. I didn’t know this but apparently, baboons love salt.” Chappelle
goes on to talk about how they (the bushmen) put a lump of salt in a hole and
wait for the baboon. When the baboon comes, and sticks his hand in the hole and
grabs the salt, the salt makes his hand bigger and he’s trapped. He can’t get
his hand out. Chappelle says, ‘If he’s smart, he’d just let go of the salt.”
But he’s not. The bushman comes, grabs the baboon and puts him in a cage and
gives him all the salt he wants. When the baboon gets thirsty, the bushman lets
the baboon out and follows him to water. In that analogy, Chappelle says, “I
felt like the baboon.” He however said something else: “but I was smarter, I
let go of the salt.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I listened to that part of the video twice and something just
went off in my head. Boom!!! That is it! I began to read more on baboons and
salt and I just could not stop shaking my head. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Let me share what went off in my head. So many people are
stuck with their hands in a water hole, just like the baboon, because they
won’t let go of the salt. They become slaves to the bushman because of the
salt. They sell their worth and life because of the salt. They give up their conscience
for a block of salt. They lie, cheat, defraud, defame, slander, kill, steal and destroy because of the salt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Salt is meant to give food flavour but over-salted food cannot
be eaten. In the human body, excess salt is a killer. As sodium accumulates,
the body holds onto water to dilute the sodium. This increases both the amount
of fluid surrounding cells and the volume of blood in the bloodstream.
Increased blood volume means more work for the heart and more pressure on blood
vessels. Over time, the extra work and pressure can stiffen blood vessels,
leading to high blood pressure, heart attack, and stroke. It can also lead to
heart failure. There is also some evidence that too much salt can damage the
heart, aorta, and kidneys without increasing blood pressure, and that it may be
bad for bones, too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Let me tell you something.</span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The baboon will give an arm and a leg for a block of salt. They will
fight viciously to hold on to that salt in their hands, inside a hole. The
baboon’s obsession with salt is just like the human obsession with ‘salty’
pleasures – wealth, fame, men, women, status, Instagram and Facebook likes and
validations, the ‘my home is better than yours’ foolishness, the number of
clothes and shoes I have, the school my children attend – and such and such.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Yes, just like salt, these pleasures seem to add zest and
spice to life but as with all earthly pleasures, when not curbed, comes with
their attendant bitterness and brokenness. Like the baboon, we are attracted to
those things that will take our life, our freedom, our common sense, our
humanity and we risk it all to be enslaved and ultimately lead to our
destruction. All the baboon needed to do was to release the salt, let it go and
then it can remove its hand but nah!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I reasoned here and then, that most of the problems we have
are personally inflicted when we begin to live lives that are full of lies because
we want to present a particular image to people who don’t even know us, or even
bother about us. The salt is a representation of burdens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unnecessary burdens we put on ourselves. Financial
burdens, emotional burdens, success burdens, marriage burdens, family burdens,
people burdens, etc. We all have them or have had them or will have them.
Burdens have a way of stressing us out and not allowing us to see the bigger
picture. We sometimes see the end of the foolishness we are indulged in but we
refuse to let go. The baboon saw the bushman who set the trap for it, coming
towards it and still refused to let the salt go. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">For others, the burdens can be other things – guilt, shame, self-worth,
failure, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know this personally but
you will only become enslaved if you refuse to remove your hand from the hole
by letting go. These are just excess luggage and as with every excess luggage,
you pay for it and sometimes, heavily too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I won’t say the baboon represents us humans, but I will say
as humans we need to let our burdens go; especially when we see the effects it
is having on our lives – becoming emotional wrecks, health – inexplicable health
concerns, finances – trying to keep up with the Joneses; the effect on our
marital life and homes – living unhappily yet presenting a happy image; on our
children – bringing up badly behave, untrained, unmannered and ungodly
offspring.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--EndFragment--><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We need to let go of the salt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let go of those salty obsessions. Let go! Let
go!</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Just let go.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Mother Muse,</span></div>
Ini Abimbolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00529501507685680150noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821326873651967264.post-35050171819489607672017-03-20T11:52:00.000+01:002017-03-20T11:52:11.434+01:00Life.........<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Hello Muses,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Last week ended on a very sad note for me. We lost one of our support staff, Tope. She was knocked down by a hit and run driver on her way to work on Friday morning. </span></div>
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<a href="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR3SIsb77geBZ_qOgnCLiVI9jrmAg7bB1PNXZOGnE1HEjdxlaD3Tg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR3SIsb77geBZ_qOgnCLiVI9jrmAg7bB1PNXZOGnE1HEjdxlaD3Tg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I recall getting to the office and as usual calling her across the office for my coffee instead of using the intercom. When she didn't respond, I called the Admin Manager and she mentioned she's not been seen that morning and her phone went unanswered. I was a bit upset because my desk hadn't been cleaned as well and I wondered why she was so late to work.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I told her to try again and alas, we got the news. She had been rushed to Luth Emergency & Accidents Centre by a LASTMA official. I left the office with my Admin. Manager and we rushed to the hospital. We met with family members and did all we could so she could get attention.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Sadly, Tope passed on early hours of Saturday. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was very stoic when I saw her lying helplessly with the oxygen mask on her face. I took on my Pastor garb and went into prayers immediately. I left there calm in my spirit that all was well. I got home and spent that night praying till about 4am. I had so much peace. I guess I didn't understand what it was.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When I wake up to the news on Saturday morning, I went on my knees and I so wanted to cry but I couldn't. I just kept hearing myself say - 'Thank you Lord. In all things we give thanks, Thank you Lord.'</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I got up from there and faced the day. Followed up with the family and even went to the market just to take my mind off the issue.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Sunday night and I wept like a broken soul. Add the news of the medical doctor who was returning to church and asked his driver to stop the car and he jumped over the bridge. I wept some more. All I kept thinking of was how brief life is. How short. How fleeting. Here today, gone tomorrow. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I thought of Tope's little daughter. I thought of what are thoughts were that morning. She had been with us for 5 years. I thought of the number of times she had come to my office to share her personal issues with me and how we were able to resolve some and oh, I wept so hard. I thought of the Doctor too. I don't know him but I wondered - did someone in church say something mean to him? did they joke with something painful without knowing? What was he going through that could warrant his throwing all to the wind? I wept until I had no strength in me and then I slept off on the floor. My husband was kind enough to let me grief.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I walked into the office this morning and my Assistant had made sure my coffee was ready so I won't notice but I did. And the pain was fresh again. I've made peace knowing fully well that the office was a place she looked forward to coming to. She was happy with us here.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Everyday, something is happening around us. Let's take time to notice people. The cleaner in your office or your housekeeper or your nanny. DO you REALLY see them? The gateman. The security officer. Your doctor. The lady across your desk. Even the person you don't know across the street. Can we just be kind? It doesn't take anything to be kind. Look at the people around you, say something nice and genuine to them. Encourage, say a kind word. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Life is short. Very short.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Tope, rest well.</span></div>
Ini Abimbolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00529501507685680150noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821326873651967264.post-33064252824526310362017-03-20T11:06:00.000+01:002017-03-20T11:10:31.111+01:00Lessons in Leadership<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Hello Muses,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Trust you are all doing well. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Lately, I've been thinking about leadership issues and its attendant effect on those we lead. In particular is the leadership of our nation Nigeria.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Looking through my notes from years back, I found this post from Victor Oladokun in 2013 following the resignation of Pope Benedict's resignation from the Papal. I read through it again and thought to share, as they hold true even this day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Do read and let's share our thoughts.</span></div>
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<a href="https://cdn2.hubspot.net/hubfs/411259/Defining-Leadership-Lessons.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://cdn2.hubspot.net/hubfs/411259/Defining-Leadership-Lessons.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><u>7 Leadership Lessons from Pope Benedict's Resignation in 2013.</u></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">1. KNOWING WHEN TO QUIT: There comes a time when every
leader has to look him or herself in the mirror and say, “Its time to move on.”
There is no indignity to this. Just a recognition that (a) they have fulfilled
their roles in the season of time they have occupied their respective positions
of influence and (b) it is time to pass the baton on to a new generation that
can run with the vision with a new sense of purpose and vigor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">2. MISSION VERSUS POSITION: In our post-modern world, too
many leaders are so wrapped up in their positions and titles, that they will do
everything and anything possible to stay on their lofty perches, while ensuring
that every pretender to the ‘throne’ is prevented or dissuaded from even
thinking about it. In essence their positions have become idols. However, Pope
Benedict realizes that the position he is relinquishing is temporal and that
the larger universal mission of the Catholic Church is a whole lot bigger than
himself. If his physical body is going to be a detriment to his spiritual
responsibilities, then something had to give. In this case, it was going to be
his position, and not the mission of the Church.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">3. IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU: Humble leaders always recognize it is
not about them, but rather, the larger organization and constituencies that
they serve. While there is precedence for a Pope resigning from office, lets
keep in mind that this was almost a thousand years ago! As a leading theologian
and historian, Pope Benedict must have been aware of the ground shaking
reverberations that would accompany his announcement. But at the end of the
day, it all came down to – “Its not about me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1489997782235_41884" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">4. THE INSTITUTION OR ORGANIZATION YOU LEAD IS GREATER THAN YOU. It will continue long after you have left the scene. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Learn to laugh. Have fun.</span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1489997782235_41886" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;" /></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1489997782235_41885" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">5. GO WITH YOUR GUT INSTINCT. Some call it an intuitive sense, a sixth sense, your inner spirit, or a strong impression. We’ve all had experiences when we’ve had to rely on nothing but our gut instinct in the face of great odds. Truth is, leaders lead. While consensus is beneficial, when the chips are down, great leaders lead by instinct and not necessarily by what popular opinion dictates. </span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1489997782235_42009" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;" /></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1489997782235_42010" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">6. KEEP IT CLOSE TO THE CHEST. Talk is cheap. Many times great ideas are aborted simply because they were announced too soon. Many times, leaders deeply ponder issues and take their own counsel. This was one of those instances. A weighty issue of this magnitude is not something the Pope could have allowed to leak through ‘trusted’ aides. When the time was right, he did it his way.</span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1489997782235_42011" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;" /></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1489997782235_42012" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">7. STAND FOR SOMETHING. It’s called Integrity…the currency of leadership. Without integrity, leaders cannot lead. We live in a vacuous world of politicians who increasingly stand for everything, and therefore nothing. Today, leaders of thought and faith are constantly under pressure to compromise convictions and values … many times, simply to appease a marginal few. In 2005, when the conclave elected Cardinal Ratzinger to fill the enormous spiritual shoes of Pope John Paul II, many critics of the church assumed the new Pope would soften his stance on a number of foundational moral issues. Those expectations were never met, up to the very end. In a 2010 interview, the Pope hinted that he could potentially step down if he felt he ever felt he was unable to fulfill the responsibilities of his office. He did.</span></div>
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Ini Abimbolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00529501507685680150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821326873651967264.post-25330216945353205112017-03-01T16:04:00.001+01:002017-03-01T16:04:43.208+01:00Happy New Hour!!!!<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Every first day of a new month, from 12 midnight into the
new month, people start sending the Happy New Month messages. This ‘thing’
began like a joke that will go away but it persisted and became a norm. The
frenzy with which people do it made me understand there was more to it. So, I joined
in sending out the happy new month messages because I sensed there was some
prize (maybe spiritual or physical) that came with it; but for whatever reasons
or maybe they saw my heart, I never got the prize.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://static.wixstatic.com/media/8e2eea_ec3162ec87934210aebf6e657a1600e1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSsEHLMiaCOdoyw9cQ-WMB7mASgWtj3xamLluQzZRv8cKDQcwkc" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSsEHLMiaCOdoyw9cQ-WMB7mASgWtj3xamLluQzZRv8cKDQcwkc" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What makes this even more entertaining is that some of the
people who send these messages don’t really wish you any happiness; they don’t even
like your guts; they don’t talk to you; they never reach out to give you
business, patronize your business or even say hello.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet every first day of the month, they send–
Happy New month – broadcast style.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">If you are sending a prayer, then send a prayer and don’t send
me a one size fits all prayer. If you love me enough to wish me well in a new
month, then take out the time as well to ask specifically what will benefit me in
the new month. Happy New month is not a prayer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It is an annoyance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It used to be Happy New Year, Happy birthday, Happy anniversary
but Happy new month? I am counting the months before we start sending happy new
week and happy new day messages. We already have happy hour but that needs to
be sent out more often now as this recession and the stress it has induced
makes it very needed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Mbok, if you are offended by this message, please don’t respond
–pray for me to understand. If on the other hand you are not offended, then
wish me Happy Typing!.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Happy Hour to you all, with all my love.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Mother Muse,</span></div>
Ini Abimbolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00529501507685680150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821326873651967264.post-68979105635153949192017-02-22T11:35:00.003+01:002017-02-22T12:01:04.791+01:00When They Assassinate You (Part 3)<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Hello Muses,</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Trust your week is going well. Wow! I got so many emails
yesterday that this concluding part was due yesterday. Sorry for not
posting. I was on the move throughout. </span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">I've gotten quite a lot of feedback on this issue - loads of
questions and comments, looking at various angles and positing other
viewpoints and some I will discuss in another post. We will continue from where
we stopped last week.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><u><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Part 3.</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Our world is full of contrasts: good and bad, up and down, pretty
or ugly, black or white, and many other polarities. For someone to feel good
they may need to make someone else feel bad. This is extremely flawed but
remains one of the ways someone can delude himself or herself into feeling
better.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Note: In some cases, character assassination may have to be
addressed either by confronting the person or taking legal action. In most
situations, really, slander is tort (civil wrong – you see how useful my law
degree is, lol), and can be the basis for a law suit under
defamation. You need to decipher when this becomes necessary. <span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">Often, we confuse every negative comment about us with
defamation. Unfortunately, not all negative statements are
defamation. </span>Make sure you have detailed and sufficient
evidences. </span><span style="font-size: 18pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">You need to be aware that in some situations, your silence can be
construed as agreement, when you don’t address negative statements about
yourself and your business or where your integrity is being called to question.
Don’t worry about the mind games people will try to play with you - “you’re
being sensitive” or “you can’t take criticism" or "why did you wait
this long". Those comments are a way to put you back on the defense, as if
you have no voice in what goes on around you and what perceptions are created
about you.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://www.buddhistdoor.net/upload/file/20150704/978/d2b7e2742271dd5ee081ed8a29cb8148_350__2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="347" src="https://www.buddhistdoor.net/upload/file/20150704/978/d2b7e2742271dd5ee081ed8a29cb8148_350__2.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">So, what should you do when this happens? These do not follow any
particular order but will guide you:</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">1. Don't fight back. At least, don't lower
yourself to use the tools the character assassin has inarguably lowered
themselves by using. The best defense against any character assassination is to
maintain your integrity and take pride in what you do, whatever that may be.
Fighting back just feeds the fire, and clouds the issue. It may sound like a
cliché but truth is- <b><u>it is not about you</u></b>. It is
the person engaging in it that has a problem. Be unshakeable. Be like a
rock. Get better. Go higher.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">2. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. I
know!!!! This is the most difficult part to do but trust me it works. Refuse to
notice or even acknowledge what they say and do and pay no attention to them. <b>Choose
not to comment.</b> Always take the higher ground with negativity and
simply do not acknowledge it. Look at it as a spiritual challenge and
an opportunity to grow emotionally. No one knows the full story
except what your assassin has presented, therefore no one has a right to judge
you.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">3. Remember, this may not just be a
physical assassination. In most cases, there will be spiritual
and/or fetish elements to it. Stay tuned to your spiritual wavelength at its
highest and stay safe.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">4. Some people will act like they are
genuinely interested in knowing the truth, be careful. You need to be quite
circumspect as they may be allies of your assassin, trying to get more
information. The ones who know you and are genuinely concerned will
show by their words and actions.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">5. Develop a thick skin. People will talk
and not just talk, even hiss, sneer and whisper when you pass by; – truth be
told a lot of people are not busy or doing anything meaningful with their lives
and most have domestic issues that hassles their wellbeing, so bashing others
is a favorite pastime – let them do so but you remain focused on your own
growth trajectory.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="background-color: : font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">6. Where and when necessary, speak the
truth but don’t be defensive. Remember your assassin got to the narrative
before you and the damage may be more widespread than you can imagine. Refuse
to be drawn into telling stories.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">7<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">. People
who believe the worst about you probably have a vested interest in believing
that crap. Remember you can’t control that. I remember someone who
was owing me money for over two years being at the forefront of spreading
defamations about me, telling people not to attend my events, yet sending me
nice, warm text messages of how she appreciates my patience and how she has
always respected me. She didn’t realize I already knew she was a snake.
Unbelievable mental psychosis issues.</span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">8. People who believe the
vilest things about you don’t know you. Not really. This might be one of the
single most awful discovery about life you will learn. People who you thought
knew you, don’t. Sadly, there are others who don’t even know you at all,
have never met you or spoken with you but will also vilify you to high heavens
especially if the matter is of a nature that scares them. </span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">9. Where and ONLY when necessary, speak the
truth but don’t be defensive. Remember your assassin got to the narrative
before you and the damage may be more widespread than you can imagine. Refuse
to be drawn into telling stories.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">10.Turn off the reports by anyone who want to
daily feed you with what your assassin’s plans are <b>but</b> make
sure you on your own, have a detailed diagram of their methods of attack, their
schemes and antics. Very, very important.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">11. Always be prepared for the worst.
Character assassins are psychopaths and narcissists. They never get
enough. As I said, for them it’s your death or nothing. Remember they always
present themselves as the victims.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">12. Finally, and most importantly, <b>Character
is revealed over time</b>. Who we are is revealed every day in every little
action and decision. No one is perfect, but the arc of someone’s character —
how giving they are of themselves, how considerate, how reciprocal — is
perceptible. The people who matter aren’t swayed by your assassin’s gossip and
trash talk. The shallow people who are? You don't need to worry about those.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Charles Spurgeon said, <i>"A lie will
go around the world while truth is still putting on its boots."</i></span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Understand this: </span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">The first person being destroyed in a character
assassination attack is the assassin himself. He’s just not aware of it.
Bad-mouthing is a suicide mission: it destroys the source of criticism in the
process rather than the one being criticized.</span></i><span style="font-size: 18pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="border: 1pt none; font-size: 18pt; padding: 0in;">Truth be told, it is not just the talks that upsets us but our
interpretation of the situation based on our inner state of mind. So, next time
you hear someone badmouthed you, look within your own self and see how you see
yourself. If you are feeling confident and happy, bad personal situations will
not disturb you as much as it would if you were feeling unfulfilled.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="border: 1pt none; font-size: 18pt; padding: 0in;"> </span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="border: 1pt none; font-size: 18pt; padding: 0in;">Next time you hear someone is trying to assassinate you,
just remember that they have no other way of feeling good about themselves so
they must indulge in slander and gossip just to feel good. So, allow them to
have their moment of joy and you rejoice in the fact that you are important
enough for them to spend time talking about you. <b>As Mark Twain
said: “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked
about!”</b></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Till next week, be good, be kind, be careful with your thoughts,
words, associations and most of all, fear God.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 18pt;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Mother Muse.....</span></div>
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</style>Ini Abimbolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00529501507685680150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821326873651967264.post-91806188782662611362017-02-14T16:52:00.000+01:002017-02-22T12:00:15.034+01:00When They Assassinate You (Part 2)<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Hello Muses,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Happy Valentine’s day. Hmmmm, love nwantintin tinz. The over-commercialization of the day makes me worry because if you are in a true and loving relationship, everyday should be valentine's day. Anyways, hope you’ve gotten your gifts and kisses and for those of you given to showing them off on social media, trust you have done so already, lol. Na love matters.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I got quite a deluge of emails on our Part 1. I was intrigued. As I mentioned in Part 1, it is no surprise to me that a lot of people can relate to the issues and couldn’t wait for the second part. So share with others not on the mailing list and do send me your thoughts too. Here we go:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><u>Part 2:</u></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The green-eyed monster – Jealousy/Envy
- lies at the heart of most, if not all character assassinations. Jealousy/Envy
are natural human emotions and can be good if they help you see the
possibilities available to push you to achieve your own higher goals.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large; text-align: justify;">It however becomes a symptom of a
deeper psychological problem when it pushes you to destroy the ones who have
hurt you, have what you think you should have or belongs to you. In effect, it
is those who feel inadequate, insecure, or overly dependent that tend to be
more jealous than others. What happens to the jealous/envious person(s),
is that you (or whatever it is that you've done to piss them off) acts like a
giant mirror, reflecting their own perceived inadequacies and lame excuses. If you're
doing or achieving something they believe inside themselves </span><span style="font-size: large; text-align: justify;">that they <b><i>should</i></b> be
doing or achieving -- and they're not -- it forces them to ask themselves WHY (and
how could he/she, when I don’t?).</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And the answers to those questions
are not ones that the person trying to destroy you wants to hear, because their
failures and inadequacies are painful to accept. So, what do they do? They tell
everyone embellished poop about you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They sell stories that even you become confused as to how that could
ever be possible. In some instances, they ensure they are perceived as the
victims and therefore you deserve to crucified and killed. They scour and dig
up all manners of information about you and sell to their disorganized
listeners and for most of their listeners, particularly those who barely know
you, it is “privileged” information. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What
they sell is </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">this: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">He is not special, talented,
holy and nice as you know</i>; <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">He makes
more horrible compromises than you know; He is fake and a phony, and THAT'S why
he getting what they are getting and they the victims are not. </i>In some
cases, the person paying for the assassination does nothing more than a
suggestion or tell a simple story to another unwaged assassin. In this case,
the person who starts the story, lie or rumors will do nothing more than simply
suggest something allowing others to run with the idea that they have planted. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">People engage in these ruthless
attacks on others in books, on their blogs, Facebook and twitter accounts, WhatsApp
groups, and in personal conversations. They aren’t merely disagreeing with
others, they are actively trying to destroy them with hazing, mockery, slander
and character assassination. There is a profound moral disconnect at work in
all this. Invariably those who engage in character assassination to
advance their views make all sorts of aggressive and self-righteous
statements about themselves and their cause and how much pain they’ve suffered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Character assassination is far
easier to take part in than most people even realize. Just spreading or
perpetuating a rumor after it has been started is in fact a method of character
assassination and should be avoided. Even liking the comments or agreeing
without saying a word is invariable support. It is also important to remember
that when someone is spreading rumors or trying to assassinate your character
they are likely having trouble on their own. In most cases the assassins
are insecure themselves and need reassurance that they are worth something. In
many cases, those that are seeking to assassinate your character are struggling
and may need nothing more than a helping hand or someone to talk to. Though it
may be hard to imagine that someone that calls you names or tries to make you
look bad needs help, they are often nowhere near as tough as they seem, and destroying
others seem like their getaway trip. The attention they receive from their
sympathizers, gives them the needed drug-infused high they so much crave for
their inane life. They want to trot on your coffin to their happiness and that itself
is a web of delusion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Using Emerson’s quote above - I’ve
realized that the people who slander you are not revealing things about me; in
every word, they say against you, they are actually revealing mountains of
information about themselves, displaying and demonstrating their own character.
They ARE showing the world who they really are at their core being. They are
simply manifesting what kind of people they are. They are broadcasting to the
entire world that they are people who cannot be trusted, that they are
unprincipled and disrespectful. They are telling everybody that they are
pitifully so consumed by their own arrogance and bitterness blended together to
make them so helplessly unable to get past their pains. They even forget they
are sharing things people probably would never have known about them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Some people will argue in favour
of the hurt party – that it is because the person is aggrieved, that’s why they
resort to assassinating you. What kind of person engages in character
assassination against another person because they are hurt or hurting? What
kind of character do they possess? Is slander or engaging in character
assassination the best choice of a person of character when dealing with
somebody who has hurt him or who he has a conflict with? How should a person of
integrity and self-respect deal with someone he conflicts with?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">No matter how true or justified
the basis for a grouse or conflict is, killing another person with words and
destroying their reputation does not in any way make you a better person or
give you long life or increase your value and worth to others, neither does it
assuage your hurt. Not every one of us considers the fact that life is a
wonderful gift of God and it should not just be cherished but be lived to the
fullest. Some people do not seem to understand well enough the real
meaning and purpose of life. They live life with hatred and jealousy and make
the lives of others a nuisance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">So,
what should you do when this happens? </span><!--EndFragment--></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">We will continue next week with the concluding part of this story. Send me your thoughts. Till then, love life, live well, laugh more and remember, God made life to be lived to the fullest.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Mother Muse,</span></span></div>
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Ini Abimbolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00529501507685680150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821326873651967264.post-29400450737473017192017-02-09T14:55:00.000+01:002017-02-16T21:40:56.654+01:00When They Decide to Assassinate You (Part 1)<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">2016 was quite an interesting
year. We can all look back at it and some can heave a sigh of relief; others
perhaps not so fast. For most people, it was riddled with the language of the
season – recession. Lol, everything was recessed and placed in recession.
Thankfully and hopefully, 2017 is a good year.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;">One issue that came up very
strongly for me was the issue of <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">character
assassination </b>(what were you thinking before? Lol) and reputation damage. We
saw quite a bit in the local media with books being written and blogs
celebrating all sorts and </span><span style="font-size: large;">I was quite distraught at the way people applauded those
without looking at the deeper underlying issues. I struggled with writing about
this for a long time last year, not only because it hit home, but rather how common it was and we never talk about it. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvxHDS3_7zhXQBwc-YT_72whQB34JOeh9LKOFc4KM3H6DYSdIaDXz2hU7Y_Mffe6ZM-GPLO4itFdOgJ09kzlBfnSYYtlz1KI_kO3d9YD4oTIuYTzXesdpPyymK36TR6JvP-AYx3wUOdA/s400/character+assassination+button.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img alt="alt=”" border="0" height="82" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvxHDS3_7zhXQBwc-YT_72whQB34JOeh9LKOFc4KM3H6DYSdIaDXz2hU7Y_Mffe6ZM-GPLO4itFdOgJ09kzlBfnSYYtlz1KI_kO3d9YD4oTIuYTzXesdpPyymK36TR6JvP-AYx3wUOdA/s200/character+assassination+button.jpg" title="" width="200" /></span></a><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It became expedient to write about this, when someone came wailing to my home on Monday morning, beating herself blue & black on what she heard so-and-so said about her. I laughed in between shock and I shared my experiences with her. I further told her how a dear sister and friend shared her very bitter and
heartbreaking experience with me on this same matter last year and how it almost made her a
recluse. This is someone well known for her strong views and belief system and for
someone to damage her reputation and character so badly, was a bullet to the
soul.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;">It’s quite disheartening when
someone or some people decide by whatever measure or feeling of being slighted,
that the best way to respond or deal with a conflict is to damage your
reputation. It is even much more depressing when you find out that the person
or persons involved know they have nothing to lose because they have no reputation
to protect and their character is non-existent in the first place.</span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></span>
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">So, damaging yours seems to them like they
have gained an upper hand in the said conflict or misunderstanding, whatever it
may be. You don’t have to be successful, popular, be a leader, have a lot of
following or be charismatic, or any of these things for your
character/reputation to be damaged. It can happen to anyone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<a href="https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRn3UmJTPvgY1cF6Iek7VmrlBVnpvyub8rW-IThR6O0JlZQCg5a" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img alt="alt=”" border="0" height="171" src="https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRn3UmJTPvgY1cF6Iek7VmrlBVnpvyub8rW-IThR6O0JlZQCg5a" title="" width="200" /></span></a><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Character assassination/Reputation damage/Slander is
far more common than most people realize and knowing about it is one way to
help stop it. Although you may never personally experience it, it is always valuable
to learn as much as you can about issues like this because they can quickly
happen to you. There are a few basics that you should understand to learn just
what character assassination is and why it is so dangerous. From this point, we
will refer to them as assassins.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">You need to understand the terms
so you can easily comprehend what we are talking about here. What exactly does
it mean?</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/bd/b8/2e/bdb82ee08186fb4b26faa7146504c8b1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img alt="alt=”" border="0" height="200" src="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/bd/b8/2e/bdb82ee08186fb4b26faa7146504c8b1.jpg" title="" width="200" /></span></a><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Character Assassination is the
act of attempting to influence the portrayal or reputation of a person, causing
others to develop an extremely negative perception of him/her. By its nature,
it involves deliberate exaggeration or manipulation of facts to present an
untrue picture of the targeted person.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Basically, it is spreading
rumours and talking bad about somebody, to make people hate them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ø<span style="font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><b style="font-size: x-large; text-indent: -0.25in;">To assassinate someone means to kill, to
take life in an underhanded way.</b></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ø<span style="font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><b style="font-size: x-large; text-indent: -0.25in;">To assassinate someone’s character means to
kill or damage their character by any means possible. </b><span style="font-size: large; text-indent: -0.25in;">This can be something
as simple as calling them names to something as complicated as fabricating
stories about them to keep them from advancing or living a good life. It is
bloodless murder.</span></span></li>
</ul>
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Character assassination is far more
dangerous than you might imagine. An assassin can be anyone who has a grouse
against you, someone who has a perceived or professed hurt, a business competitor,
your ex –whatever, a friend-turned-foe, a devious being, a jealous/envious
somebori, or just a confused soul trying to make your own life more difficult;
are likely to use this technique to present you as a terrible person, making it
easy for them to take advantage of you and get what they want which really is –
to make themselves look like a victim and a saint, damage your reputation,
wreck your relationships, cost you opportunities both personal and
professional, deal a permanent blow to your self-confidence, and fundamentally
alter how you and those around you perceive you and your place in the world. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://cdn.quotesgram.com/img/44/57/10500634-slander.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://cdn.quotesgram.com/img/44/57/10500634-slander.jpg" width="200" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Character assassination is nothing
more than dirty fighting, make no mistake about it. In most cases, it is
cowardly as they only badmouth you behind your back and can never confront you
since even they know their lies. Most assassins are devious and are most likely
sociopaths. They may or may not hate you perse, but they wreck your reputation
to fulfil their own selfish goals. Some you have never met but they know
everything they can use to damage your reputation, even paying for information.
Some may be your friends – the ones you trust with all your innermost koko
gists and life stories. They distribute the stories, concoct more and embellish
it to tarnish you and often, will come by your side in public to give the
impression they are still your support.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We will continue in the second part next week, with more clarity on what this is all about. Till then, remember this: Life is to be lived to the fullest as God intends it. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Mother muse,</span></span></div>
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</style>Ini Abimbolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00529501507685680150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821326873651967264.post-33536252489342417502017-02-07T13:58:00.000+01:002017-03-23T11:21:19.018+01:00The 3 Books That Changed My Life<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Hello Everyone, happy new year and may 2017 do us all real good, Amen. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Been away from blogging but since I need to get out of this writer's block that is making Sister Joy send me midnight greetings, I've decided to rev the brain up a bit.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In my over 35 years of working (yes you read right - I'm due for retirement), three books have made profound impact on me like never before. <span style="background-color: ; color: #192d38;">I’ve always been drawn to books around strategy and unusual thinking and had just finished reading The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli in 1989, when I stumbled on The Art of War by Tun Tzu.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGiIR-FfhB7PNhHodA5K8RFAUgowiJnDdc6oq7cwIUW_mttG9EUQzvduwMzKxa7ma7OfRB1i_V8hRJEzGCfTZ7QoVY_jLEpYzOYMuc5d9QJdCaYr8OiI_txBT2rB_LSPiyC9tvXdzZOw/s1600/The-Prince-Machiavelli-Book-Cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img alt="alt=”" border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGiIR-FfhB7PNhHodA5K8RFAUgowiJnDdc6oq7cwIUW_mttG9EUQzvduwMzKxa7ma7OfRB1i_V8hRJEzGCfTZ7QoVY_jLEpYzOYMuc5d9QJdCaYr8OiI_txBT2rB_LSPiyC9tvXdzZOw/s200/The-Prince-Machiavelli-Book-Cover.jpg" title="" width="121" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: ; color: #192d38;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you are deeply interested in military strategy and understanding political power, or you are a political junkie like me, then the The Prince will speak to you. Most people hold that it is the handbook for a would be tyrant, but indeed understanding it within context of your existing situation is important. Machiavelli took a rational approach in analyzing government and politics. </span></span><span style="background-color: ; color: #373a41; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: left;">The effect of his writing are still found today. People still need virtue in order to be a good ruler or manager. Success is still to those who can make quick and intelligent choices. The government is still supported most by its own amount of power</span><span style="background-color:; color: #373a41; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: left;">.</span><span style="background-color:; color: #373a41; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: left;"> </span><span style="background-color:; color: #192d38; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Two quotes have refused to go away in my head: </span><br />
<div style="background-color:; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px 0px 15px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><b>“Because there are three classes of intellects: one which comprehends by itself; another which appreciates what others comprehend; and a third which neither comprehends by itself nor by the showing of others; the first is the most excellent, the second is good, the third is useless.”...... Niccolo Machaivelli, The Prince</b></i></span></div>
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<div style="background-color:; box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><i>“Everyone sees what you appear to be, few experience what you really are.” </i></b></span><b style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>........Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince</i></b></div>
<div style="background-color:; box-sizing: border-box; color: #192d38; margin-bottom: 10px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color:; box-sizing: border-box; color: #192d38; margin-bottom: 10px; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD_ChBYvRhT6nnwufxtLGcxPNm6xWkS9QzvjZTzdYinvOcukO1mILBN64ASvvDB1D2ivNoLMry2dMN8r1ptVINNOwDusQY4exSIFYIVxgmtK-IFXCDHCAko7PTK_AnZgBL3rlquYOQOA/s1600/the-art-of-war-9780804830805_hr.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img alt="alt=”" border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD_ChBYvRhT6nnwufxtLGcxPNm6xWkS9QzvjZTzdYinvOcukO1mILBN64ASvvDB1D2ivNoLMry2dMN8r1ptVINNOwDusQY4exSIFYIVxgmtK-IFXCDHCAko7PTK_AnZgBL3rlquYOQOA/s200/the-art-of-war-9780804830805_hr.jpg" title="" width="122" /></span></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The Art of War is not a book on war, but can be said to relate to life, business and general human relationships that require understanding how the human mind works, how to hone and deploy skills, and how to manage and elevate human relationships.</span></div>
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<div style="background-color:; box-sizing: border-box; color: #192d38; margin-bottom: 10px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It changed my thinking about comfort zones and how to see conflict in a different light than it being negative. I also learnt from it that knowing ‘your stuff’ and knowing it well is a key critical element to success. The book was, for me, a comprehensive analysis of how to navigate the different wars we fight in our lives every day. Most importantly, the book spoke to certain areas of my life that I needed to pay attention to and I since have.</span></div>
<div style="background-color:; box-sizing: border-box; color: #192d38; margin-bottom: 10px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Being reckless – which can lead to failure, over-soliciting other people’s opinions, not managing my temper and most importantly the art of laying low and not being overly exposed. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSW0EQqduwQvXbFPeDnW15HmWwqDzs6bOq9Z4WfA1FvMnslVOWyaK949xmIvZZvZPIRZzSMHqwrgey7eq1o13ZVz6yyKSrAchtEyP4JtFBGE2eQDYZBc1GtswkayL4BFUpPBDi7c_c_A/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img alt="alt=”" border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSW0EQqduwQvXbFPeDnW15HmWwqDzs6bOq9Z4WfA1FvMnslVOWyaK949xmIvZZvZPIRZzSMHqwrgey7eq1o13ZVz6yyKSrAchtEyP4JtFBGE2eQDYZBc1GtswkayL4BFUpPBDi7c_c_A/s200/images.jpeg" title="" width="136" /></span></a><span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">More often than not, we tend to view
power almost exclusively in negative or
oppressive terms and as a force that is
ancient. We must understand that power is everywhere; it is dynamic and very multidimensional; and most importantly, power is about relationships. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b></span><b style="text-align: justify;">t is critical to understand that not all the <span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">laws of power apply to each and every situation. There are laws in the book which starkly contradict each other. The book inverses some by flipping them on their head and showing how a reversal of a law can be just as, if not more effective than the law itself. It is up to your analytical mind to deduce whether or not the law should be applied as it is presented or if the nuances of the situation at hand would benefit you more if you were to instead reverse a law. It is your responsibility to understand the situation you find yourself in and how you must behave in regard to that.</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Either way, you learn a lot from reading this book. You now have to decipher what works and doesn't work and where and how to apply them. Most people give away power without even realizing they had it in the first place and this is one of the lessons I learnt from this book. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color:; color: #192d38;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I am currently reading <b>My Vision: Challenges in the Race for Excellence by Mohammed Bin Rashid Al Maktoum, the Ruler of Dubai. </b></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color:; color: #192d38;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color:; color: #192d38;">I’m still gunning to read <b>Seeds of Fire: China and the Story Behind the Attack on America by Gordon Thomas.</b> It’s been a fascination for me to try to understand the drive behind China’s rise.</span><span style="background-color:; color: #192d38;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So share with me what you think and what books have made an impact on you and which book you are reading now and will recommend.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Enjoy your week.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Just my musings,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ini</span></div>
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</style>Ini Abimbolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00529501507685680150noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821326873651967264.post-75900856288649811912016-12-15T17:00:00.002+01:002017-03-23T11:23:27.209+01:00#AFTERNOON MUSINGS OF A WRITER<span style="background-color:; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I</span><span style="background-color:; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"> like to sit in a corner and observe people when I'm in a crowd and lately I'm doing more of that. Especially in church and when I attend events. The judgemental look a lot of people give to others, the side sneers and sniggers, the tongue in cheek comments and the I-am-sure-better-than-you hoity-toity stupidly self righteous look they give to others never ever seems to stop keeping me in shock and puzzlement. </span><br />
<span style="background-color:; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color:; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">Who taught the sun where to stand in t</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color:; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">he morning? Perhaps it is you who wrote the map of their destiny. You can definitely have your own differing opinion(s), yes, you do not have to agree with them or their choices, since you're without mistakes your entire life, but you do NOT have a right to be an Hypocrite and a Judge. God always has a sense of humour. The God of times and seasons. One day it rained in Susannah's house and you sneered and hissed at her foolish decision. Tomorrow, the rain became a storm and removed your roof and we saw you soaked to your panties. Who is laughing now? </span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color:; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="_5afx" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; direction: ltr; text-decoration: none; unicode-bidi: isolate;"><a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://web.facebook.com/hashtag/timesandseasons?source=feed_text&story_id=10157880043990338" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><span aria-label="hashtag" class="_58cl _5afz" style="color: #4267b2; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none; unicode-bidi: isolate;">#</span><span class="_58cm" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">timesandseasons</span></a></span><a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://web.facebook.com/hashtag/newbookontheway?source=feed_text&story_id=10157880043990338" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><span class="_5afx" style="direction: ltr; unicode-bidi: isolate;"><span aria-label="hashtag" class="_58cl _5afz" style="color: #4267b2; unicode-bidi: isolate;">#</span><span class="_58cm">newbookontheway</span></span></a> <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://web.facebook.com/hashtag/toomuchiwanttosay?source=feed_text&story_id=10157880043990338" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><span class="_5afx" style="direction: ltr; unicode-bidi: isolate;"><span aria-label="hashtag" class="_58cl _5afz" style="color: #4267b2; unicode-bidi: isolate;">#</span><span class="_58cm">toomuchiwanttosay</span></span></a><a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://web.facebook.com/hashtag/whenmyheartisoverwhelmedisimplywrite?source=feed_text&story_id=10157880043990338" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><span class="_5afx" style="direction: ltr; unicode-bidi: isolate;"><span aria-label="hashtag" class="_58cl _5afz" style="color: #4267b2; unicode-bidi: isolate;">#</span><span class="_58cm">whenmyheartisoverwhelmedisimplywrite</span></span></a> <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://web.facebook.com/hashtag/lifehappens?source=feed_text&story_id=10157880043990338" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><span class="_5afx" style="direction: ltr; unicode-bidi: isolate;"><span aria-label="hashtag" class="_58cl _5afz" style="color: #4267b2; unicode-bidi: isolate;">#</span><span class="_58cm">lifehappens</span></span></a> <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://web.facebook.com/hashtag/bekind?source=feed_text&story_id=10157880043990338" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><span class="_5afx" style="direction: ltr; unicode-bidi: isolate;"><span aria-label="hashtag" class="_58cl _5afz" style="color: #4267b2; unicode-bidi: isolate;">#</span><span class="_58cm">bekind</span></span></a></span>Ini Abimbolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00529501507685680150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821326873651967264.post-38808880785469412402016-12-15T16:54:00.000+01:002016-12-15T16:54:34.363+01:00Clay Pots<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
After my lunch meeting yesterday, I spent most of the night hugging my bible to my chest and just going back to scriptures and seeking understanding of some of the things I heard, and asking for more clarity on the directions I have been given hitherto and this scripture jumped at me. WE have all seen it or read it or heard it read before but it JUMPED at me and when I asked for better understanding, I wept with gratitude. Only the broken can understand. I will explain it:</div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">Paul employed this imagery in his letter to the Corinthians to make an important point, one that has never been very popular and one most of us holy, never do wrong, 'perfect' believers never understand. We are like the clay pots, like alabasters; when we are broken, the light of the gospel is shed abroad. And when we are broken like clay pots, our strength or power is not seen, but God’s. When we are broken by adversity, by sin, by mistakes, opposition, and suffering, God’s power is revealed, and God’s work is accomplished in a way that does not glorify the “clay pots” but manifests God’s surpassing power and glory.</span></div>
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Who is worthy to be a "container" for God's light and glory? The smartest person isn't smart enough, the purest person isn't pure enough, the most spiritual person isn't spiritual enough, and most talented person isn't talented enough. We are all just clay pots holding an unspeakably great treasure!</div>
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Claypots were common in every home in the ancient world. They were not very durable (compared to metal), and they were useless if broken (glass could be melted down again). They were too cheap and of little intrinsic value. God chose to put His light and glory in the everyday dishes, not in the fine china, or English porcelain. He choose claypots like me, easily broken yet reflecting His glory.</div>
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We almost always are drawn to the thing that has the best packaging. But the best gifts often have the most unlikely packaging. God did not see a need to "package" Jesus when He came as a man to this earth. Jesus was not embarrassed to live as a clay pot. God is not embarrassed to use clay pots like me! or you or he or she. That the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us: Why does God put such a great treasure in such weak vessels? So that the greatness of the power may be of God and not of us. So that it would be evident to anyone who had eyes to see that the work was being done by the power of God, not the power of the vessel.</div>
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Why did God choose risky, earthen vessels instead of safe, heavenly ones? Because "perfect" vessels are safe, but bring glory to themselves. Clay pots are risky, but can bring profound glory to God.</div>
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On that day, there will be surprises in heaven.</div>
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Peace!</div>
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Ini Abimbolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00529501507685680150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821326873651967264.post-27555967260520477692014-06-03T13:49:00.000+01:002014-06-03T14:02:05.192+01:00LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX!!!! (Parental Guidance 18) :)<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hello all and trust you are doing
well. I’ve been working oooo!!! Anyways, something brought me here. Three
days ago when I posted on my facebook page that I will be leading twitter
conversations on Sex & Society: Religion, Expectations and Cultural issues,
I have received so many text messages and emails on why a “pastor” should be
leading such convos on twitter or any social space sef.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let me correct an impression.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am a child of God, a woman of faith, a
lover, wife, mother etc. all rolled in one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Pastor no be my name and I am just a fellow servant of the Most High
God, just like all you who sent me messages. Please lets stop the hypocrisy. Sex is good and God is good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTkdkiLdYP7vTYy1R9Oigs7CSxHQULxmZVpl0JWQMJ0MMFZhts1" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTkdkiLdYP7vTYy1R9Oigs7CSxHQULxmZVpl0JWQMJ0MMFZhts1" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB">I am upset and that is why I write
this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why should Christians not talk
about sex.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who said so? Because we are not talking about
sex, others are talking about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our
marriages are suffering – married couples are NOT having sex ( some as long as
months); our young people are getting it all mixed up – our daughters do not
have a healthy view and understanding of sex and worse so, our young men;<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>during marriage counselling, we gloss over it
so that “we do not tempt them”; the church does not talk about sex. </span><b>The world is full of sex.
We were made through sex (yes naw!). Our bodies were created with a
capacity for and a tendency toward sex. Sex was<i> God’s</i> idea. </b>Yet, the church is either
ignoring it or treating it like it’s the work of the devil- some unholy,
necessary evil, required for the procreation of offspring and the maintenance
of marriage. We need to get serious, like really serious. Haba!!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I agree and I teach, sex has
to be withon the bands of marriage but we are having so many young people go
into marriage with a warped view of sex and ending up with serious problems.
The ladies have been thought sex is for procreation and not to be enjoyed. </span></div>
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<a href="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTkdkiLdYP7vTYy1R9Oigs7CSxHQULxmZVpl0JWQMJ0MMFZhts1" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The
lights should be put off and sex done in the dark. Don’t touch your husband’s
penis lest you go to hell. Don’t moan in ecstasy, lest the devil takes your
tongue and you can no longer speak in tongues. Oral sex? Hia, na hell fire
straight be that, no redemption.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The young men? Make sure you
satisfy yourself and ensure you are not shooting blanks so you can get her
pregnant. She is not supposed to enjoy it so if she moans or writhes in
‘sweetness’, that means she is a spoilt girl. You cannot touch her vagina, its
for having babies and for peeing. Sex toys? Chineke!!!! Never ever ever let
those things come into your bedroom. They are agents of Satan.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’m tired of all
of these.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I teach my children about sex;
each teaching appropriate for their age and upbringing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We should talk about sex.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Talking about sex is part of marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Communication is key in marriage and should
not only be about the children and money issues.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>TALK ABOUT SEX!! <span style="color: #262626;">We hear it all the time: communication is such an important key to
marriage. Secular sources and Christian ones alike also agree that sex is
an important part of marriage. That being said, <i>communicating</i>
about sex would be an important part of marriage.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How on earth can we expect a young man and young woman
to get to their wedding and all of the sudden be comfortable talking about sex.
We’ve made it this bad, taboo topic since they hit puberty, and now, they
have to figure it out (on their own), and be able to discuss it (on their
own) when their entire lives they’ve been told they <span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">can’t talk about it! </span> The wedding ring does not have magical
conversation-starting power. If they are not comfortable with the reality
of sex before marriage, they are not going to be comfortable with it after.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://plattsvillemc.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/untitled-12.jpg?w=240&h=240" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="http://plattsvillemc.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/untitled-12.jpg?w=240&h=240" height="200" width="200" /></span></a><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’m not saying you need to discuss it in detail before marriage.
That’s a recipe for disaster, but it is something that needs to be
discussed because, it <b><i>will</i> </b>be part of your marriage. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why must we talk about sex as
Christians (or Muslims)?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b> Because our understanding and expectations of sex have
become skewed by </b><b>the silence. </b>I've heard from a lot of men
and women who are going into marriage a little confused about what to expect
when it comes to sex. They are having a hard time shifting their thinking from
seeing sex through a negative lens their entire lives, to all of a sudden
seeing it as good, holy and special. If Christians do not speak</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">up about God’s
great design of sex and intimacy in marriage, those who hear the very loud</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.5in;">conversation going on around us in the vidoes and songs, will only hear the
world’s point of view. We </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">need to step into the arena and share the good
news about sex, the truth about sex.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Talking about sex is part of life.</b> I don’t mean the loud-mouted style
conversation. I mean just holy, God-honoring acknowledgment of the
goodness of sex and/or the realities of sexual sin. We’re so embarrassed
by something God made. We’re so afraid to address it that we alienate
those who are looking for help. In the body of Christ, we have sex
problems, and we need to be able to talk about those.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><b>What about the couple where
the husband has never had sex with his wife in their ten years of marriage
because he hates her body? Or she is embarrassed by her body?</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What about the young couple, just married for 5 months, where the young
wife is frigid and the young husband is frustrated already and seeking for help
so he doesn’t go outside for sex?<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><b>What about the couple where
the husband takes advantage of his wife every night because it is her “wifely
duty?” Her enjoyment or satisfaction is unnecessary?</b></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: center; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><b>What about the single woman
struggling with pornography?</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><b>What about the single man who
went out to a prostitute?</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Those problems exist in our
church, but we can’t talk about them without talking about sex.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/AmazingSex.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/AmazingSex.jpg" height="320" width="261" /></span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So many women have never seen
their own vaginas, not to talk of their husband’s penises. And because we are
so scared of talking about it, we are having more and more paedophiles and
rapes of children(boys and girls) every single day. Our young people are lost on what to hold on to and what not to be carried away with. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have counseled couples who
seemingly have a “wonderful marriage” and haven’t had sex in 8 months; some as
long as a year!!!.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She says – ‘my
husband is very understanding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He knows
I don’t like the thing’; He says: ‘she works so hard taking care of the
children and her work and always tired, so I let her be’!!!..<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hmmmm, I will not tell you the end of the
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Christians should be talking
about sex. We should be lifting it up for the beautiful picture of God’s
love that it is. We should be celebrating it and rescuing it from the
grips of sin, not dunking it under the bed because we don’t feel like dealing
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It isn’t bad. It isn’t
‘terrible.’ Sexual desire should not be ‘shocking.’ It’s part of
life, and part of life that we should be addressing and enjoying. Sex is good. I’m always amazed at God’s wisdom at creating sex. God is good!!!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’ve ran out of steam now. My
vex don cool small. Please don’t get me
started again; at least for now. Join me
tonight on twitter. Time is 7pm.</span><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Ini Abimbolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00529501507685680150noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821326873651967264.post-50273710461179842852014-04-24T16:37:00.000+01:002014-04-24T16:43:22.457+01:00SMART WOMEN SECURE THEIR FUTURE<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Hello
all, been a while. I’ve been caught up in so many things happening in my
personal life and work life, so blogging wasn’t part of my immediate plan.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">I’ve
gotten better and these past few weeks have been quite a learning curve for me
in so many respects; one of which I will share right away.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/236x/a1/54/1b/a1541b867a246585e223b6e225b63bf2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/236x/a1/54/1b/a1541b867a246585e223b6e225b63bf2.jpg" /></a><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">A
few weeks ago, my bestie and I, over dinner at Yellow Chilli, were discussing a
number of issues and we got talking about money matter and our financials and
how bad things seem to be even though we are working so hard in our various endeavours.
One of the issues that came out strongly was the fact that financial issues are
a major cause of marital friction. This no doubt comes with the bit that women
expect and rightly so, that the man in their lives will take care of them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are raised to grow up and not work so hard
because “it is still a man’s house you will end up in”. This in turn has made a
few women careless about their finances and their future and in that same length,
their children’s future.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">I
left that place and since then been thinking about women and money. My first
thought was to remember what I read somewhere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Someone had asked a question: “What makes the world go round – money or
love?” and the answer was: “Love is what makes life special……. But without
money, you are in deep trouble!!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">That
women should take control of their finances from a tender age is something we
need to begin to talk about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Painfully
we are not teaching our daughters any of these, mainly because we do not know
it. Many women are materially well off – have a husband ‘doing well’; in some
cases ‘doing very well’; picks the household bills – pays school fees, mortgage
or outright purchase of home, takes care of major events, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have a good job and can do a little
business on the side but no investments or any major savings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The belief is that ‘my husband will always be
there to sort the rest out’.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">The
fact still remain that planning ahead is so crucial for women.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have been privileged to have friends who
lost their husbands just like that (not that anyone plans to lose a husband);
and their lives were turned upside down because there was no financial
planning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I like the whole <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">christianese</i> about God having our back
but God expects us to plan and He can have something to support.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Most
women have had to go through a divorce and the typical African man will ensure
you leave with nothing – in turn these women end up absolutely nothing but the
bags and shoes and clothes and jewellery they acquired during the marriage.
When it comes to divorce, women still end up with the shorter end of the stick.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Fair
or not, women need to do more financial planning than men.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I learnt this lesson very early in life
perhaps due to my background. I had to plan for everything. Even when I didn’t know
Christ, I planned and becoming a Christian, I planned even more. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="http://nocountryforyoungwomen.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/emily-quote.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://nocountryforyoungwomen.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/emily-quote.png" height="240" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Typically,
women still earn about 25% less than men. Only about one out of five women over
65 receive a pension. Most women live in the lie that the more money you make
or earn, the richer and comfortable you will be. This is so not true because it
is not your income but what you spend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Most of us have gotten caught up in living a ‘designer life’ with so
much noise – drive the latest car, carry the latest designer bag, live in the
latest neighborhood – and nothing to keep you going in the next 20 years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact we don’t see the next 20 years –
because as you know – Jesus is coming soon.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Thinking
through all these and what I’ve been through in the last couple of years, it is
obvious that most women spend more than they make – in the real sense of the
word and this is a serious problem. Our spending habits kill us faster than
anything else. I have had to do a lot of checkups on my spending lately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I found I was carrying too many people on my ‘spending
list’ because I felt a need to ‘take care of the whole world’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have had to shed quite a lot, because truth
be told – some of them don’t care how you do it and if you can no longer really
do it, they fizzle out of your life.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Another
area I noted that 98% of women fall prey to – the Cinderella myth – “My husband
will take care of me and the children” or “find and marry a wealthy man and
everything will be fine”. Please note that it is neither safe nor practical to
assume that the man in your life can be counted on to take care of your
finances. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">I
recently encountered someone whose husband had lots of properties and some in
her name.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This woman had no idea where
some of the properties were located.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
fact to make matters worse, she had no idea what kind of property they were,
what their values were, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was
awed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a wonderful woman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sometimes wish I could be this brain dead.
If this man were to drop dead with no will (most Nigerian men don’t have) or he
even willed it to another person, she will expect me to be compassionate and commiserate
when she can no longer pay her children’s fees or is booted out of the home. The
average age of widowhood today is just 56!!!! </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Marriage
is not a kind of insurance policy that frees you from the realities of life. Because
no matter how good a man in your life is , sooner or later, he will die (sounds
morbid) and likely before you because truth is the average woman lives seven
years longer than the man. I know some of you will be wondering what is wrong
with Ini but I’m just typing as I think. This is bitter truth o. Because of our
unwillingness to accept this unpleasant reality, we tend to be woefully
unprepared to cope with it when it comes to pass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is why for women, losing a husband (in whichever
way) is generally as devastating economically as it is emotionally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact 80% of widows living in poverty were
not poor before their husbands died or disappeared!.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/3f/04/30/3f04304367a8768a567a8ccef7a7b8aa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/3f/04/30/3f04304367a8768a567a8ccef7a7b8aa.jpg" height="400" width="266" /></a><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">How
many women know their husband’s debts? His entire networth? What he earns? What
his investments or shares are? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have you
asked?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did he tell you or glossed over
it ( I know someone who is good at glossing over issues like this). We teach
our girls to be dependent because of an entrenched social belief that women can’t
or shouldn’t do it all alone. Well some girls (including this one) were taught
differently. And I constantly teach my daughters that too – SMART WOMEN SECURE
THEIR FUTURE BY KEEPING A TIGHT REIN ON THEIR FINANCES and they work hard too.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">One
of the things I have done in the past one year is to set my house in order. I
just want to know I can do what I want to do when I want to do it – that is my
financial state of mind. Money is not an end on itself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is merely a tool to achieve some
particular goal and if my values don’t meet up with my financial plans, then
there is a problem.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Fact
is a new dress, a fancy car and all the jewelry are not worth the sleepless
nights and traveling and head bursting work I have put into my work. Smart
women do more than nice clothes and cars and all that trying to outdress each
other.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Do
you own a home?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How much is the current
value of your home? What is the size of the mortgage? Is oga paying the
mortgage regularly? Do you have insurance on it? Learnt a lady just lost the husband
and the bank is kicking her out of the home because oga was not paying mortgage
regularly and no insurance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Meanwhile they
just moved into the home 11 months earlier and come and see the house warming
party and her batting her false eye lashes as everyone ooh’d and aah’d at such
beautiful home. Meanwhile as is, she cannot afford to even rent an apartment of
800k on the mainland (which is actually lifestyle downgrade for her); her
friends are struggling to raise the money – na so me I take hear. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I no fit shout.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Do
you have a life insurance? Does Oga have? How much are the policies?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where are the documents? What other policies exist
in the family name? Where are the investments? Cash in savings? Money market
accounts? Savings bonds? Stocks? Real estate investments? Collectibles?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">In
fact, do you know what is going on with your family money since na all of una
get the money? Of course I know - Money isn't everything - yes I know. In fact I agree. Free me abeg - just read this in the light of the need to have some investments - call it egg nest, call it savings, call it anything but please just plan.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Make I rest small.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will
come back on this matter later. Remember this – Success leaves clues and smart
women leave successful clues for their daughters and sons.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
Ini Abimbolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00529501507685680150noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821326873651967264.post-65625331644855406022014-01-29T15:04:00.002+01:002014-01-29T15:04:31.713+01:00THE ARCSR 2014...................<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6RjX-Kwx6K-MGims9s0P5EXZJ6ijO4Yab1dgBJ0ooXaQHdMqgSikVzBhFNegWv2JfgiVQwaOaPVCLQwIbwFk95SqcYnFdBjo7mQEtCbawoWtGIEa0rfkfYdr42Mi_SEDp6YU68x0tPA/s1600/ARCSR+AD+2014+JPEG.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6RjX-Kwx6K-MGims9s0P5EXZJ6ijO4Yab1dgBJ0ooXaQHdMqgSikVzBhFNegWv2JfgiVQwaOaPVCLQwIbwFk95SqcYnFdBjo7mQEtCbawoWtGIEa0rfkfYdr42Mi_SEDp6YU68x0tPA/s1600/ARCSR+AD+2014+JPEG.jpg" height="640" width="452" /></a></div>
<br />Ini Abimbolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00529501507685680150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821326873651967264.post-14162068280668886122014-01-21T14:40:00.001+01:002014-01-21T14:47:10.075+01:00'TICK' SAYS THE CLOCK, WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO, DO QUICKI've been down with malaria for a couple of days. The stress of driving and working in Lagos coupled with being a life long student seems to take it toll daily on my body. This morning was one of those mornings where getting out of bed seemed like the whole world hates me for making me do this. Anyways, finally got myself out of the house and driving down Third Mainland when my sista Audrey calls me. I get on the hands-free and she says: 'Sis, do you know Funke Babatola?', I answered - 'Yes I do. What's up?'.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://meetville.com/images/quotes/Quotation-Italo-Calvino-life-death-meaning-Meetville-Quotes-520.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://meetville.com/images/quotes/Quotation-Italo-Calvino-life-death-meaning-Meetville-Quotes-520.jpg" height="218" width="320" /></a>My first thought was that she wanted me to share FBI's ( as we call Funke) details with her. Next thing she said was - 'Just learnt she passed on yesterday'. I almost stopped the car in mid-drive. "No, which Funke Babatola? No she can't be dead naw. Just last week she joked about my being ill with Emilia, so how can she be dead. No Audrey, she is not dead. I will call her once I get to the office now and call you back".<br />
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I'm driving in a confused state and wondering - this is not possible. Immediately I called Emilia, who was with her on Friday to ask and alas, this sad, depressing bit of news was true. All day, I've been in and out of shock, fear, sadness, confusion, etc. Today, Funke Babatola is gone, like a candle in the wind. She was
hardworking, never relenting on ensuring she was doing something. An
excellent and complete mum to Gbolahan. But she's gone now. Just a few days ago, Audrey lost her sister in law; just yesterday evening, Nneka lost a friend's husband to cancer, a young man so full of life; just few days ago, we learnt of Komla's death at 41. And I asked - what is going on this January?<br />
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All day I have reflected and reflected and over-reflected. I went back and read Audrey's blogpost of a few days ago and again I ask - are we living? am I living or just passing through each day? am I living as i should or living so I can be called a living being? Am I living for people? Am I happy? Am I doing the things I ought to do and happy doing them, knowing that the clock ticks away? If I dropped dead today, will my life have made any sense? Will it leave any mark? Who will be shocked and who will be happy? With people so full of life just slipping away without any fight - is any stress worth it? Are the people around me killing me or keeping me alive?So many of us spend the better part of their lives living for others - for family, for friends, for children, for their parents, for husbands, for wives, but hardly for themselves, hardly for their Maker. <br />
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<a href="http://www.coolgraphic.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/74891.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.coolgraphic.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/74891.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a>At the beginning of the year, I took time to pray and as always, ask God for direction as to how to work and walk this year. I got a very clear distinct message - 'Do all things in haste'. I didn't understand and kept praying and my mind was directed to Exodus 12:11. I was afraid as so many fearful things began going through my mind. I began researching on what the word 'haste' meant in this regard and in relation to me. The Hebrew word chippazon or kaphaz does not mean haste, but apprehension,
trepidation, or fear. The only thing standing between the ancient
Israelites and death was the blood placed on the doorpost. The lamb was
to be completely consumed that evening and the remains completely
burned, necessitating their staying in the house, soberly reflecting on
the somber events around them, until the morning of the fourteenth. This
entire event lasted more than ten hours. <b>Consequently, the proper sense
of "in haste" is more correctly rendered "soberly," "with
apprehension," or "with serious reflection."</b><br />
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I then understood clearly and I shared it with my staff on the first day of work. We need to be sober and reflect more on our lives on a day to day basis. The era of taking things and people for granted and behaving as if we had all the time in the world is over. You have to do what you have to do and do it on TIME.<br />
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I am not preaching but 'Haste' means your deliverance from where you are that is not allowing you fulfill purpose. It means time to take that painful decision. It means time to go adopt a baby or do IVF instead of waiting and waiting after 10 years of marriage - because faith without works is dead. It is time to take that course; do that thing you have pushed aside; live in your happiness not in tears. Be who you were meant to be. Live, breathe, dance, laugh, eat, cry, jump, travel - do whatever you want to do. Time waits for no one, they say but truth is life waits for no one.<br />
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Tick says the clock, tick tick, what you have to do, do quick. Goodnight Funke Babatola.<br />
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<br />Ini Abimbolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00529501507685680150noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821326873651967264.post-38476530945143129172014-01-07T21:23:00.000+01:002014-01-08T11:39:27.865+01:00CLASSLESS PEOPLE & CLASSLESS THINGSHello everyone, happy new year and God's many blessings. It's back to work week and me and my waka waka. As usual, I sit quietly on these trips and observe. I think one of my new year resolution is siddon and look quietly. Lol.<br />
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Very interesting things sha. I boarded a flight to Abuja this early morning and sat next to a well dressed gentleman who looked every inch the part of a top gun CEO and while we waited for boarding formalities to be completed, he received a phone call and while speaking said to the person on the other end of the line that he is somewhere around Mile Two.<br />
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It took the whole of my veins to hold my neck from turning to look at him. I was in shock but kept my neck straight. I began wondering what it is that make these villageous, lying "classy " people do "classless things". I kept wondering till we took off. Kuku ma, he is going to mile Two and me I was flying to Abuja. Thank God for journey mercies, we landed safely.<br />
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Somehow, my day of classless and badly behaved people was not over. Finished my waka in Abuja, going up and down staircases ( seriously, no elevator in some of these government agencies - remind me to tell you that story another day) and smiling at some annoying lazy civil servants; and got back to the airport early and sat in the lounge so I could get some work done.<br />
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Act one Scene two: another seemingly serious minded "Oga", well dressed, even had a PA who was also well dressed, carrying the briefcase and looking very serious. Ok, was happy, I was in the "class" of big people in the lounge ( I too like good things na). Five minutes into sitting down, "Oga" received a phone call. My people, the only thing I didn't get before they called boarding was Oga's full name.<br />
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I learnt in 15 mins of speaking at the top of his voice punctuated with raccoon-like bursts of laughter, that he is chairman of two blue chip companies and cannot imagine how he could be kept for three days in Abuja just to see a minister. I also pitied in advance, the CEO of one of the companies who didn't make the meeting happen as "Oga" promised to fry his bum bum. I learnt his two sons left for London yesterday. I learnt he was returning the Mercedes E class and taking a Cayenne (didn't know there was a car by that name till today, lol, I learnt na); I learnt he didn't accept the payment (I no know which one) because the money was short 21 million Naira (sai!).<br />
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I learnt his wife had told him not to come for the meeting but he hadn't listened to her and now he has to manage how she will rub in the "I told you so"( I just imagined what she was like with a trout like this). His loud conversation also made me realise, because of the urgency, he had to fly commercial - what an insult - because the "keke napep" of his friend was not in Nigeria!!!!<br />
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When the conversation first began, I was super upset. I kept "eye-ing" the ignoramus until it seems I was giving him a come-on sign so I calmed my eyeballs and minded my business. Then as I listened, it became hilarious. I just kept chuckling and at some point laughing. my people no go kill me. At some point, I began seeing the second series of my third book - Things I have Learnt - forming in my head. I learnt about "Oga" tire. I can tell you for free that 80% of his stories were embellished poop.<br />
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It all just reiterated the fact that the clothes or the garb or the seeming "class" does not make a man or woman. We are so obsessed with the outward presentation of people around us that we have lost the ability to see what is inside of them and comes out of their mouths and their corresponding actions. If we did, we will take a lot of people less seriously, treat them like the goats they are and honestly, we will get less and less of this 'carrying up' of empty heads and shoulders. Time and time again, I see well dressed, in fact designer- bag carrying ladies with nicely coiffed hair, well manicured fingers speak haughtily, rudely and almost utterly condescendingly to others. They talk noisily at restaurants with this notice- me-and-my-bag-or-I-die attitude. I see nicely put together men, young and old, with absolutely no manners. None at all. They disrespect women, walk like tin gods and no decorum.<br />
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You can buy yourself some "class" ( inverted comma class) but you still remain classless and a nobody when you treat others badly; disrespect public nuances, talking loudly and stupidly in a public place and we know all your life history in twenty minutes; chew gum like a cricket and then stick it under a seat; when you use a bathroom and spill your urine on the seat and are tactless enough not to clean up after yourself; when you sit on an airport seat and your bag sits on the other and an elderly man looks at you and you look away and he remains standing; when you see people you know and act as if you don't know them so they can greet you first ( like seriously); when you try to live like the joneses, forgetting they were actually farmers and you do not know what a cutlass looks like.......<br />
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Money can add you to a class of people but it cannot buy taste and good breeding. It's got nothing to do with pedigree as I hear some people say because I have seen some "pedigrious" people act like the behind of a baboon. Good breeding is proper behaviour; appropriate and befitting for wherever you are.<br />
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Na wa!!! I tire. Now I'm sitting in this airline class to Lagos with another "classless" somebody snoring us to death. ROTPL, mbok, story plenty for this Nigeria.<br />
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I dey look oooo......Ini Abimbolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00529501507685680150noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821326873651967264.post-80849777482909309762013-12-28T23:10:00.001+01:002013-12-28T23:12:55.900+01:00As 2013 rolls by.........<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm sitting here, watching the almost still street below from my window and amazed at how quiet some parts of Calabar can be and thanking God for such peace and quiet in the midst of the hustle and bustle of this world. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">As usual, my mind wanders and I begin to take stock of 2013 ( actually began doing that since I got in here); I am amazed at how quickly this year passed by. I am reminded of the very many things that happened this year, in my life, in the nation, in the lives of friends, of families, at work, in my business, etc.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I am reminded of the very difficult and almost mind bending, painful decision I took at the beginning of the year (the strain and emotional anguish was inexplicable) and how God has practically held my heart in his hands and cradled it slowly but surely back to some form of normalcy. He's still cradling it, and healing it and He has provided all I need to get back to normal.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I am reminded of how many times I travelled this year both locally and internationally and how God kept me through it all and always brought me back home to my loved ones safely. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I am reminded of God's grace with ThistlePraxis Consulting. I couldn't even pay my staff full salary in January and I cannot say we did so many projects this year, but God has brought us to a fantastic close of year. It could only have been by grace. I cannot but chuckle at the new amazing supernatural opportunities that opened before our very eyes - ThistlePraxis in 17 countries and 4 continents. Only grace. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I am reminded of the possibilities and joys and laughters. The new babies I blessed in church and in families dear to my heart; even a royal baby; the new marriages full of hope and life; the new homes and cars; the new opportunities beyond my imagination; I can only just shake my head and look up and say - thank you God.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I am reminded that I am not perfect; I still wrestle with: anxiety, control, Perfectionism. Anger. so many many things. But as this year rolls to an end, I will continue to work on them as God helps me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I am reminded of the knives in my back and the arrows close friends have shot into my heart. The side glances ad the mocking smiles. I have been through a tough time, and have a bleeding heart to show for it. But I am dealing with it.</span></div>
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I am in the same vein reminded of the times I have knowingly and unknowingly offended close friends and loved ones and I have made a mental note to call up everyone before the 31st and make peace.</div>
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I am reminded of people who lost loved ones and can't seem to find or feel any form of joy as the year rolls to an end and I just mentally reach out and cradle my loved ones around me and hold them tight. </div>
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I am reminded of the love I have been privileged to receive this year. From many whose names I will not mention. Standing by me, for me - in the place of prayers, taking unplanned flights to check on me and ensure I have not disappeared, calling, loving, blessing and encouraging me. I am reminded and I am grateful. </div>
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As I sit here at this window, typing away, I am reminded of so many things. The joy and undiluted bliss on my father's face as he walks into his house in Calabar. The prayers and thanks my parents have offered on my behalf. </div>
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I am reminded of how blessed I am beyond measure. I look around my home. I walk into every space, every space in this house, touching the walls and the furnitures. Thanking God for a home, a place to call home. I'm looking at my extra large green garden and the trees. I recall just yesterday afternoon, the fresh coconut in my garden was plucked and my parents and big sisters drinking and eating and I am watching them and smiling. I am a very loved woman, very very. and the song in my heart just went: </div>
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<i><span style="color: red;">Father, to you Lord, be all the glory</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: red;">To you, my Father, be all the honor</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: red;">To you Daddy, be all the glory,</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: red;">Power, adoration for evermore</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: red;">Because verily, verily you are good,</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: red;">Verily you are God</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: red;">Jesus you are good.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: red;">Onye nje'mo onu</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: red;">Na ra ekene, mgbenine</span></i></div>
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I am reminded of my love, my children - my tonnes of pure joy and happiness -; I am reminded that this year is passing by and it has been an eventful year for me. Very eventful. And I can only bow my head and say THANK YOU LORD.</div>
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As the year rolls by.................</div>
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</span>Ini Abimbolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00529501507685680150noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821326873651967264.post-27736592759716339882013-12-18T23:49:00.000+01:002013-12-18T23:50:10.641+01:00SOMHMy third book - Things I've Learnt - is a small coffee table, a kind of read-while-you-wait, type of book. It is dedicated to Love, Friendship, Wisdom and Intuition. And then it is dedicated to the SOMH. After it's release, I have gotten quite a few text messages and bb messages from some 'amebos', asking who the SOMH is. I always laughed it off and wondered why people let their curiosity get the better of them. However, I have gotten so many of the questions, so I decide to answer. Curiosity they say kills the cat o. Anyways, I will tell them who the SOMH is. <br />
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The SOMH is my best friend, my sweet, my honey bunch, my bestie, my sugar pom pom, my darling, my sunshine, my moonlight, my crying partner (SOMH doesn't cry, just hugs me tight), my prayer partner, my tea and spice, my gist provider and coordinator, my time machine, my angel, my listening ear, my ever dependable shoulder to lean on, my music box. I can ride the rough bus of life because the SOMH is my support beam.<br />
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The SOMH stole my heart and helped me start all over again. The SOMH taught me to trust again. Always available to hear my complaints - never tired, never waning. When night fell upon me even when it was still daytime, the SOMH made me see it was just a veil and with one finger, shifted it away and I saw the sunlight again. The SOMH is the only movie I can watch, the only song I can sing because I learnt to see and sing again. <br />
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The SOMH helped me get to 'the place' - that place of loving love and not being afraid to love again. That place where doing good and being good is not for buying acceptance. That place where my happiness is sacrosanct and my joy is a pleasure. That place where I'm comforted of all the rivers that ran dry. That place where my laughter is not curtailed but released.<br />
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SOMH, You bless me, you saved me from myself, you love me like no other love I've known. You said I didn't need to be perfect. By your side, I learnt to forgive myself and make better use of my gifts and self. You remind me that I do enough.<br />
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I love you SOMH. I love you so much my heart sings. You are the song in my head when I wake up, the smile on my face as I kneel to ask for direction for each new day. You are the reason why I walk as if I dance and I wriggle my waist as if oil wells dwelt between the meeting of my thighs. You are my love and my desire. You satisfy my soul's lasting encounter with the inexplicable. You are my toxin and my antidote. You are my love and my romance. You are my love and you are my desire.<br />
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What more can I say? Let me end with the words of Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861):<br />
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How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.<br />
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height<br />
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight<br />
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.<br />
I love thee to the level of everyday's<br />
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.<br />
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;<br />
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.<br />
I love thee with a passion put to use<br />
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.<br />
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose<br />
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,<br />
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,<br />
I shall but love thee better after death.<br />
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The SOMH, let me love you now and forever more...........Ini Abimbolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00529501507685680150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821326873651967264.post-60375912090231170982013-12-18T14:08:00.001+01:002013-12-18T14:19:58.068+01:00When people make you lose respect for themOk, Finally on Saturday December 14, I launched my second book Break The Alabaster and released a third one - Things I've Learnt.<br />
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Fantastic event though my some of my reviewers didn't show up and didn't have the courtesy to call me and explain why or even give me reasons why they chickened out. It was to be an all male panel to review the book. Only one man - Usen Udoh - out of the four showed up. Then I got three ladies to sit in the review panel and it was awesome. Usen did a fantastic job being the only man in the panel. The Moderator - Sister Bisi was super! Audrey, Ireayo and Jeniffer made the difference.<br />
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I sat down there while the book review was going on and somehow my mind wandered back and forth and I began to write another book in my head. I just wondered why some people do the things they do. What goes through their mind when they do those things and how they truly feel when they have done those things.<br />
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Things like being disrespectful. Things like being late to an event. Things like not showing up when they have promised to. Things like leaving your work undone and expecting you to understand. Things like speaking ill behind your back. Things like snickering behind your back and smiling when you turn. Things like hiding, hoarding and coding information even when it is unnecessary. Things like lying. Things like half truths. Things like competitive behaviour. Things like acting all more holy and spiritual than Christ. Things like ....... I don't even know sef.<br />
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Sometimes, we do not realise - and this has nothing to do with age - that it is easy for us to make others lose the tiny bit of respect they have for us when we behave in a certain way. I deliberately treat people with respect no matter who they are because my motto always is -<b> no one knows tomorrow</b>. I painfully admit that because people don't have respect as adults, they also bring up badly behaved and very disrespectful children. Children who see you and look at you and wait for you to say - Hi dear, how are you? before they greet you.<br />
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I sat there thinking and as I stood up to speak my closing remarks, and I got to make some comments about not caring what anyone thought of me - I could see some people snickering and making faces at one another. I smiled because they only did what I expected of them to do - be small minded as usual.<br />
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<b>I stood there and though I was speaking, I concluded in my mind that I only require people to respect me and not love me. Love without respect can be fleeting but respect brings love that is lofty and lasting.</b><br />
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So I will keep my respect. I will be true to myself. I will be true to my word. I will truly support the people I have said I will support. I will treat people with respect even whe they do not deserve it and teach them to respect me. I will insist on being respected rather than loved because I will earn it. I will cut off people who disrepect me especially if they are just incapable of having respect for me or anyone.<br />
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I will not allow people to lose their respect for me. That I concluded as I finished speaking.<br />
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<br />Ini Abimbolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00529501507685680150noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821326873651967264.post-14348978119400547872013-12-09T20:19:00.001+01:002013-12-09T20:19:23.341+01:00Make I do marry jare. Really?<br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: small;">Our souls are not hungry for fame, comfort, wealth or power. Those rewards create almost as many problems as they solve. Our souls are hungry for meaning, for the sense that we have figured out how to live so that our lives matter, so that the world will be at least a little bit different for our having passed through it. - Rabbi Harold Kushner</span></span></h3>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I'm sitting here this morning at the airport lounge waiting for the boarding call. I'm trying to read the day's newspaper and I notice two young ladies walk in and sit down. They looked like ladies in their mid twenties. As they sat down close by, I couldn't help but over hear their conversations. One of the ladies was saying, "I can't wait o. I really can't. I've finished youth service, what am I waiting for?" When I heard that, I could almost say out loud what her next sentence was going to be. True to my thinking she blurted out - " if he is not ready, I just have to move on with my life. I have to marry next year, 2014 must not pass me by".</span></div>
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The second lady concurred and said, "Yes o, after school, wetin remain?" At that point, a deep sense of sadness enveloped me. My mind drifted to many places all at once. Is this what we teach our daughters? Is marriage the heights of all achievements? To aim less and less for themselves? Where is the place of dreaming? Where is fulfilling purpose? </div>
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Should marriage the ultimate for our daughters? Do we pay school fees up to tertiary institutions so that their only ambition in life is to marry and 'settle down'? </div>
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As I ruminated on this, the quote above flashed in my mind. Life in general, without recourse to being male or female, is meaningless without purpose. One of the things that have always driven me has been the realization and delivery of my God ordained purpose. However, I realise that many people do not even understand purpose. And because we do not understand purpose, we cannot teach our children how to understand, realise and deliver their purpose in life.</div>
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I have six daughters - biological and adopted - and everyday, I have promised myself to push them to understand purpose. To understand that the world has to be a better place because we passed through it. I will embrace their choices to marry when they please but I will not make marriage the ultimate of their lives. I love being married, absolutely. So please do not get me wrong - I am a HUGE fan and ardent supporter of the institution. However, I do not see it as the height of achievement. Nah.</div>
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I think we bring up our girls knowing so much yet so little about marriage. We teach them to cook, clean and be proper women in preparation for marriage but we forget to teach them the basics of life and living and wholeness and self love and self worth and awareness. We forget to teach them about growth and meaningful contributions to life. We forget to teach that a status such as "married" is not a measurement of your being but that passion is important.</div>
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We forget to teach them about finances in marriage or that they should work and have their won money to support the marriage and not be a loose limb. We forget to teach them that marriage is the most intense relationship you will ever have in your life because it brings out the real you. It exposes your selfishness or selflessness and shows how unloving or loving you really are eyond the 'I love yous'. I could go on and on.</div>
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Maybe I'm just being radical. Maybe I'm not being realistic. Just maybe. Dem don call boarding. Make I go.</div>
</span></span>Ini Abimbolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00529501507685680150noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821326873651967264.post-37740048504344883462013-12-06T13:01:00.001+01:002013-12-06T13:01:18.138+01:00Ini, the African Feminist?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Two days ago, I learnt I was
listed on the <b>2013 AWP Network Power List </b><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">(<a href="http://awpnetwork.com/2013/12/02/the-2013-awp-network-power-list">http://awpnetwork.com/2013/12/02/the-2013-awp-network-power-list</a>)</span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Shocked and flattered as I was, I found it
was linked to my Twitter account and someone now sent me an email asking me to explain
why I call myself an African feminist.</div>
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So I began thinking of it – How am
I an African feminist? Then I recalled Rebecca Mae West’s take on the subject:
whenever I do anything that differentiates me from a doormat, people call me a
feminist.</div>
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I am a feminist because I stand tall
and high on women issues.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I like the
word because it identifies me with a community of confident and radical women,
many of whom I respect, both as individuals and for what they have contributed
to the development of the world as we know it. These ancestors include many
African, Asian, Latin American, Middle Eastern, European and American women of
all colours and creeds, past and present. </div>
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<img alt="" class="alignleft wp-image-970" height="278" src="http://www.spectraspeaks.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/African-Feminist-Cyborg-580x580.jpg" style="margin: 10px;" title="African Feminist Cyborg" width="278" /></div>
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I am an African feminist because,
in the words of Minna Salami - ‘The truth is that feminism is an <u>absolute
necessity</u> for African societies. We rank lowest in the global gender
equality index; have some of the highest numbers of domestic violence, the
highest number of female circumcision and other harmful traditions.’</div>
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<br />
I am a feminist because I believe that is nothing wrong in being ambitious and
successful as a woman and also be a good wife and mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Women are good balancers and we have much
more capacity than we can ever imagine.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
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I am an African feminist because
I am committed to fighting the very many injustices that face African
women.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Patriarchy and culture relegates
women’s work and abilities to common vestiges and this I disagree with.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I am an African feminist because
women are still seen as having half brain and not created as equal beings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The churches preach it, our fathers carry it
out and our mothers train their girls to only attain to marriage<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>after everything else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Marriage has become what defines a successful
woman. I disagree because God made marriage so the man should not be alone as
God knew the man cannot be alone. He needs a woman!!!!</div>
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<br /></div>
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Being a feminist doesn’t mean I
hate men. Nah, I love men, I do men, and I’m married to a man. It just means I
do not want to be treated as a second class citizen or a half human.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I am an African feminist because
I believe that it is a man’s job to respect a woman but it is a woman’s job to
give him something to respect.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I am a feminist because I know the
higher my standards, the higher the quality of life I live.</div>
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</xml><![endif]-->Ini Abimbolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00529501507685680150noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821326873651967264.post-40774906330624883872013-12-06T12:26:00.001+01:002013-12-06T12:26:28.743+01:00Rebranding Yourself<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">There’s been a
lot of talk about re-branding our country.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So many schools and universities of thought have come forward with their
take on if what we need is a re-branding or a values re-orientation. Others
think the re-branding would come if we had electricity as our main source of
power supply and not the generators; if the roads were not patched but really
resurfaced; if our political system was better organized and if we understood
how our national image affects our economy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">As women –
corporate executives or entrepreneurs, there may be need for your personal re-branding. Many of us are doing excellent work in our offices; our businesses
are doing well but with today’s technology and the fast paced business world we
live in, a multifaceted personal brand is important. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">Re-branding is all
about perception. How do people perceive you, your work or your business?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What comes to mind when they see you; when
your name is called or your business is mentioned? I am not a brand strategist
but I know that having a strong personal brand is not negotiable if you must so
well in whatever industry you find yourself.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">What does your
work say about you if you are in the corporate world?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Marshawn Evans, </span><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">author of <a href="http://tracking.pinkmagazine.com/t/11997433/555507012/54029236/0/" target="_blank"><i>SKIRTS in the Boardroom</i></a></span><span lang="EN-GB">
notes</span><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"> “For women, it is especially
important to define and redefine ourselves in the workplace, the boardroom, or
even the corner office – for the lucky ones.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img height="320" src="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRmCwev8ZBqTQwhWfzBX_dc2C4z5aQKifRYfXqErmVWgXzb5WM3Fg9Dz2os" width="211" /> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">It is essential to “cement” your presence based on the value that you or
your business brings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There should be
something compelling about you that a prospective employer would headhunt you
for; there should be something enchanting about your business for customers to
buy from you rather than your competitors.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Louise Mowbray, a personal brand strategist gives the followings tricks
of the trade:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Personal brands need to be four things: compelling to their market;
authentic; consistent; and known.</span></i><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">1.</span></b><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"> Find out how you are
actually perceived or what your reputation is. Ask a variety of people. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">2.</span></b><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"> Spend time exploring
what it is about you that is compelling to your target market. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">3.</span></b><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"> Ask yourself if what
you are offering is authentic. If not, it will breed only mistrust. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">4.</span></b><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"> Make sure that your
message or what you deliver is consistent. If it is erratic, it will undermine
your efforts. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">5.</span></b><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"> Create a personal
brand statement outlining who you are, what you do, how you do it and why it is
compelling . . . and use abridged versions of it consistently wherever
appropriate. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">6.</span></b><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"> Explore how you can
make your personal brand known to your market or audience and then act on it. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">I have met quite
a number of women and of course men, who cannot tell you in five minutes who
they are, what they do and why you should meet or know them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This in itself can make or mar your job or
business potential.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">As Mowbray puts
it, “the desire to build a personal brand must come from: a strong intention,
drive or greater purpose to be and to build something beyond the norm and of
course you need a powerful impact to do this.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">For me, so many
things can actually speak about your personal brand than you stop to think of.
Your email address is one. <a href="mailto:kokolet@yahoo.com">kokolet@yahoo.com</a>
won’t get you a second or s serious first look. The ringtone on your phone can
actually be personal brand plus or minus. Your call (business) card is an
important in the personal branding business. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">Facebook is now
in our consciousness and so many of us are getting on Facebook for social
networking purposes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have found it to
be a key business tool if used properly but what kind of messages, pictures and
updates go on your Facebook wall and profile? This speaks about your person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I learnt prospective employers now learn much
more about an incoming employee on their Facebook wall than they do on their
CVs. Remember, personal branding or re-branding is all about perception.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB">My question now
is – What is your take on Personal Branding versus Company/Business Branding?
How does a personal brand impact on a business or an organization?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
Ini Abimbolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00529501507685680150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821326873651967264.post-85210072633547421672013-12-06T12:22:00.002+01:002013-12-06T12:22:54.229+01:00Na waNa wa o!!!<br />
<br />
didnt realise how long it has been since I last placed a post here. <br />
<br />
Hmmmm, this year has been something else to say the least but as always, I swim and refuse to sink. <br />
God has been my voltron as Bidemi will say. <img height="267" id="il_fi" src="http://lialondon.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/woman-writing-a-book.jpg" style="padding-bottom: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" width="400" /><br />
<br />
I intend to do this more often as I have had to write quite a bit of things in the past few months. Most of the time, spent inside the belly of an airplane. God has been faithful, so faithful.<br />
<br />
Not all my posts will be based on only work issues. So get ready.Ini Abimbolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00529501507685680150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821326873651967264.post-16987912467131365112013-02-06T10:42:00.000+01:002013-02-06T10:42:31.754+01:00ANNOUNCING THE AR-CSR 2013......<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Ini Abimbolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00529501507685680150noreply@blogger.com0